But, I Didn’t Realize

February 7, 2010 6 comments

I can never be accused of hiding things on this blog.  I have written about anything and everything.  There are very few topics that are off-limits.  I do this for many reasons.  One, this is how I am in ‘real-life’.  Two, I want other women to know that there is at least one other person feeling the way they do.

But even I have my limits.

Sometimes I plug along in life thinking everything is just fine even when it isn’t.  Sure, I know that I have frustrations and stress in life.  there are times I don’t like myself very much.  I am also very aware that my marriage is sometimes ideal.  Not just from Daniel’s career choice or how we choose to run our daily lives but in how we deal with our stress, how we treat each other.

Do not get me wrong.  I love my husband more than I can ever say and I know he loves me.  I am very happy overall in our lives together and I wouldn’t change the core of it at all.  but I am not naïve.  We have problems.  The thing is, I didn’t realize how big our problems were.

Right now, things are too raw to share.  I don’t think it is fair to open that part our life up just yet.  While it would be therapeutic for me, it isn’t fair to him.

But I want to put out there that  even when we think things are fine, they can be horribly wrong.  In the last week I have cried more than I ever want to.  I’m physically and emotionally exhausted.  I am having to evaluate myself and I’m facing scary truths.  I am facing the fact that there have been serious issues brewing.

We all come to these points and it is important to work on it.  Talk it out.  Yell if necessary.  Just do not ignore it.  Work on it.  Fix yourself.  Fix your marriage.

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Categories: Marriage, My Life

February Free Monthly Desktop

February 3, 2010 1 comment

Here it is folks, February’s free monthly desktop.  Click on the image and when the bigger image is displayes, right-click to save it to your desktop.  Enjoy!  If you have any requests for future desktops, let me know!

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“Buying Time” by Pamela Samuels Young – Book Review

February 3, 2010 1 comment

Buying Time by Pamela Samuels Young

Attorney Waverly Sloan lends a helping hand to terminally ill patients, and the money is pouring in. But when Waverly’s clients start dying sooner than they should, he is unwittingly drawn into a murder scheme with ties to Washington. A determined federal prosecutor is hot on his trail, but when her own life begins to unravel, she finds herself on the run with Waverly by her side.

From Buying Time

Paperback:  370 pages

Buying Time by Pamela Samuels Young is one of the greatest thriller novels I have read in a while.  This book has murder, mystery, intrigue and blackmail.  But mixed in with it all is an excellent personal subplot with both main characters.

First, we have Waverly Sloan who has what could be considered a trophy wife who expects the finer things in life.  When his law practice is failing and he is having a hard time keeping up with appearances, he stumbles across what seems to be the perfect job-buying up insurance policies for investors.

We also have Angela Evans, an assistant US attorney, who is in a controlling and almost violent relationship with a powerful man.  As she struggles with her relationship she meets up with a man at her gym with his own colorful past.

In the midst of it all, we have Lawrence Erickson who is a client of Waverly Sloan’s and a target of Angela Evans’.  His wife is dying of cancer and he is dead set on gaining power and fortune.

Young weaves all the story lines together seamlessly with a great attention to detail.  She puts just enough feeling into her characters to make you feel invested in them without it turning cheesy.  There are lessons of greed, love, and betrayal.

I read this book in one night.  Not an easy feat with almost 400 pages but it was so easy to be sucked right in!  I highly recommend this one to anyone who enjoys a great thriller.  I will be searching out more of Young’s novels to read.

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Categories: Book Reviews

Go Say Happy Birthday

February 2, 2010 1 comment

Or tell her to shut up, whatever you choose works.

It’s Booshy’s birthday and she’s feeling lonely.  In her own words “:“the super anal and disgustingly needy booshy wants you to read her birthday post.  She’s the one asking, not me, and since it’s her birthday, I am being nice.  So if she sucks, blame her, not me.  I’m simply the messenger who is trying to do the right thing.”.

Leave her a comment. Or don’t. It’s totally up to you. But if you do visit her and want to say something, tell her I sent you so I can get credit. Credit for what? I don’t know.  Credit for being totally awesome and spreading bloggy love.

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Categories: Random Stuff

Let’s Talk About Sex

February 2, 2010 3 comments
Wedding
Image via Wikipedia

Sex lives, that is.  I have a particular topic that I’ve seen around both online, on TV, or even in books and magazines that I would like to discuss to see what my readers think of it.

Sex is awesome.  Sex is fabulous.  And in my opinion, sex is very important in a good relationship.  Sure, it may change over the years of being married.  And yes, it isn’t the most important thing that keeps a relationship going.  But to what degree is satisfying sex a deal breaker in a relationship?  At what point would you stray?

Here are some questions about this topic (I’ll give my answers below):

  • If your sex life started to go downhill in either quantity or quality, would you be open with your partner?
  • Would you make suggestions or try new things if something wasn’t working?
  • Would you look to another person for sexual gratification?
  • What would you say if your partner came to you and gave you a free pass to have sex with another person?
  • Would ’swinging’ or casual sex be an option for spicing up the sex life?
  • If so, what types of rules or arrangement would you have?
  • Does seeking satisfying sex elsewhere with the permission of your partner equal cheating?
  • What would you do if you and your partner could not have sex again?  (traditional sex is what I mean, like either one of you would not be able to orgasm or whatever.)

This stuff happens, folks.  I don’t think it gets talked about very often but maybe it should.  I see it around and wonder if it really is as normal as it seems.

Here are my thoughts on the matter.

If our sex life started to go downhill or it just plain sucked, I would definitely be open about it with Daniel.  I truly believe that sex can be fixed especially if you’ve been together awhile.  I would want to know if there was something I could do or if he was having problems.  I think that sometimes sexual issues can be mental.  I know that when I am feeling particularly down on myself, sex is not as much fun.  I think that introducing toys to a sex life can be a way to toss it up a bit, add some spice, or take the pressure of one partner.  I know I love having toys.  We don’t use them every time but they are fun to have handy.

I do not feel that I would look for sex elsewhere if our sex life just plain ‘ol sucked.  But for me, sex is more than the just they physical feelings.  I crave the intimacy and the love behind it.  If I just need to get off, I have toys for that.  And if Daniel gave me a ‘free pass’ I would have to say no.  I just couldn’t do it.  When things like that happen, I think a door is opened where mistrust or suspicions can creep in.  Swinging or casual sex is not an option for us.  Even with a partner’s permission, I think it could be a form of cheating because you are sharing your body with someone else.

If something happened and one of us were broken, I think we would have to find creative ways to have sex.  But I still don’t think I’d look for sex elsewhere and I’m fairly certain I couldn’t think of him with another woman.

I know some people have arrangements that work for them.  Maybe I am a bit narrow-minded on the subject.  All that I can say is that FOR ME, I only want to have sex with my husband.  He once asked me if I look at other men and wonder how they’d be in bed.  For the most part, I don’t.  Every so often I may see  a man roll out of a big ‘ol Ford and he has big muscles and that smirk that makes me melt and I might think, “hmm, that could be nice.”  But that’s that.  When I think about sex, it usually involves my own husband.

So, let me know what you think.  You can leave your answers anonymously if you’d like.  I’m just curious what other people think about this.  I know what ‘popular culture’ thinks but I don’t know if that is a true representation on things.

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Fetish Fantasy Series Inflatable Hot Seat – Product Review

February 1, 2010 2 comments

It is that time again!  More sex toys and reviews!

This go-round I had the pleasure of reviewing the Fetish Fantasy Series Inflatable Hot Seat.  In the past I’ve reviewed just your basic toys or vibrators.  This product is classified as a sex machine or as furniture.  It can be quite the addition to any toy collection whether you are a beginner or a pro!  The Hot Seat is an inflatable seat with an attached dong that vibrates.  The controls for the dong are connected with a wire to bottom of the dong.  There are handles on either side for extra stability.

We tried it out together first.  A few times I needed Daniel to keep from falling over but that was from trying to find the best positions.  We go at these reviews very scientifically for your benefit!

Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Hot Seat

First, let’s get the technical information out of the way (all measurements are when inflated):

  • Covered in flocked material (think like air mattress)
  • The seat is 17″ across
  • 10″ high from top to bottom
  • 60″ around the circumference
  • Dong is 6 1/2″ long with a width or 2″ or girth of 5″ (depending on how you look at it)
  • Cord length from dong to control is 23″ long
  • Handles are 5 1/2″ wide
  • Vibrator runs on 2 AA batteries
  • Will hold up to 300 pounds
  • Comes with a blindfold

The general concept of this product is great.  And in fact the structure and materials are first class.  I have no complaints about the overall quality of the seat.  The size is perfect even for me with stubby legs and extra weight.  I had no worries that it would pop or deflate.  I think it could be taken for quite a long spin without breaking.  The corded controls at first were a bit frustrating but ended up working out because of the positioning of the hot seat and your body.

However, there are some flaws that detracted from my overall use of the machine initially.  The dong does not bend.  At all.  The plastic, while very sturdy, is hard.  I tried to position myself in different ways and was unable to find any that were comfortable.  Keep in mind, every woman (or man) is differently shaped and this may be an issue special to me.

While the vibrator was very strong and practically caused the entire seat to shake, as a result of the non-bendiness of the dong, I couldn’t really feel the vibrations in a spot that was pleasurable.  What would make this better is if there were ‘balls’ attached the base of the unit.  That would bring the vibrator into a more useful position.

Lastly, and this issue may just be mine, it was hard to get positioned comfortably.  I have very short legs so I either had to stand as if I was going squats (what a way to spice up your workouts, though!) or sit on it with my legs all funny.  Pleasure-wise, the squat stance felt better due to the size and straightness of the dong.

Every person is different and none of these issues may arise with you.  I try to keep that in mind.  Overall, I liked the product and its potential.  It was easy to inflate, didn’t lose any air, and is easy to clean.  It has its uses and I plan on trying it out a bit more and possibly finding ways to get past what I see as flaws.  Like I said, the quality of the product is great, I know it will last.

For its price ($43) and size, the Fetish Fantasy Series Inflatable Hot Seat is a great addition to the sex machine/furniture category.  It can be used alone or with a partner and would make a great Valentine’s Day gift.

*This review sponsored by Vibrator.com

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Categories: Product Review, Sex Toys

Capital Punishment

January 29, 2010 8 comments

One of my classes is Critical Thinking.  As part of an exercise, I had to take a stance on capital punishment and then prove my position.  While capital punishment has nothing to do with a degree in business, the critical thinking aspect does.

Let me start by saying that I support the death penalty.  I think if you kill someone you should pay the highest consequence.  I understand there are times that people are convicted and they are innocent.  But with any system, there are failures.  If we stopped every process, procedure, or protocol based on the fact that there are failures, we’d have no rules or regulations.

Along with the exercise, I had to read an article about a man in Florida, Angel Diaz, who took an extra long time to die.  Opponents of the death penalty felt he unjustly suffered.  The length of the execution was due to a failure in the protocols for that state.  In Ohio, between 2006 and 2009 there were three cases where it took an inordinate amount of time for the prisoner to either be hooked up or to die.  In all cases, the failure stemmed from not finding a good vein or from improper administration of the drugs.

Opponents state that the prisoner has the right to a humane death, not one that causes pain.  It is alleged that prisoners are not receiving the proper anesthesia and when the drug that paralyzes the body is given, they are suffocating while awake.  If for some reason they make it through the first two rounds, it is said that the potassium chloride given to stop the heart creates burning and intense pain for the inmate.  According to a British medical journal, 43% of inmates from six states were given autopsies that proved the inmates may have been conscious.  MAY have been.  There is no definitive proof that they were.

There is an extreme lack of medical professionals willing or able to do the administering of the drugs in an execution.  I found conflicting information about whether or not this violates their medical oath and if they can lose their license.  One article stated that the AMA said it can’t be held against them while another said they could lose their entire careers.  It is known that they suffer extreme harassment from activists who oppose capital punishment.  As a result, people with little to no medical experience are administering powerful drugs.  Which leads to the prolonged death of inmate.

Another point not mentioned was the inmate’s health and medical history.  If you have a man who prior to imprisonment was a heavy drug user, there are bound to be issues with finding good flowing veins.  If you have a prisoner who is unhealthy, the same would apply.  Also, there are no reports that a doctor examined the prisoners to determine the effect of the drugs.  As with anything, every person metabolizes drugs (prescription or otherwise) in a different fashion.  I can knock back 10 Vicodin with little to no effect where my mom can’t take more than one without getting all goofy.  Some can smoke a bunch of meth yet another person may not be able to without overdosing.

After doing my research, I determined that I still am for the death penalty.  however, if we are going to have it, it must be done right.  Medical professionals, whether nurses or doctors, must be the ones giving the drugs.  There must be steps to determine a prisoner’s tolerance for certain types of drugs.

In my heart, I do not care if a man who has murdered a family feels pain when being executed.  It is what he gets.  But I also understand that under the letter of the law, he does deserve a humane execution.  Instead of abolishing capital punishment, it needs to be fixed.

It took me a bit to write my paper, these here are only my thoughts from my research.  But it has bugged me a bit and I wanted to see what others thought.

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Categories: Things To Ponder

Meal Replacements

January 28, 2010 2 comments

Daniel and I have signed up to do a two-week trial of a new meal replacement product that he heard about on Sirius.  He has tried the SlimFast (as have I in the past) and we just don’t like them.  I know that there are so many products out there but this one seems a bit different in that there is 1/3 less sugar than most shakes and less preservatives.  Once we get our stuff and we try it out, I’ll do a review for everyone.

I know that meal replacements can be a hot button topic in weight loss because in theory it would be better to just eat better.  But again, if it were that easy, we wouldn’t be fat.  I have an issue with food.  I binge.  I overeat.  Just cutting down is hard.

Once we decided to try this, I was concerned about replacing even one meal when I cook three for the kids every single day.  We all eat together.  It’s been hard adjusting our eating habits and meal choices.  On top of that, my schedule is a bit wonky and we end up eating dinner after 7pm.  And then the boys go to bed shortly after.  I know it isn’t the best plan.

So I talked it over with Daniel on how to best do this.  Here’s what we came up:

  • I will make  a good, balanced breakfast that includes more than just cereal every morning.  We will incorporate more fruit, eggs, etc.
  • Lunch will be our biggest meal.  We’ll have protein and veggies.
  • Dinner will be our lightest meal where it will be like fruit and/or veggies with maybe soup or sandwiches.  But I will only be cooking for the boys when Daniel isn’t home.  Dinner is the meal I will be replacing with the shake.  Depending on my day, I may add in some fruit or dairy.

Basically we are flipping our eating schedule.  I think this will give us more energy throughout the day.  Plus, I’ve started going to bed earlier since I’m getting up earlier.  Eating a huge meal about an hour or two before bed makes it hard for me to sleep.

I am hoping this will also help my relationship with food so I don’t feel as much like an addict.

Speaking of addicts, I was slapped upside the head yesterday with an ugly truth.  Like I said yesterday, it’s been a week since we had fast food.  Do you know that for the last four days Aidan has bugged me nonstop about having a grilled cheese from Jack In The Box?  It’s terrible.  That only reinforces my desire to change things!

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Categories: Weight Loss

So Far, So Good

January 27, 2010 5 comments

I made a committment to myself that I would wake up at 6:30 to exercise before getting the kids up and ready for the day.  I knew it would be tough but so essential if I am to keep this up.  Monday and Tuesday, I got up and did my thing.  Daniel is my backup and calls at 6:45 to make sure I got up.

This morning, there was a glitch in the system.  My alarm went off and Daniel called.  However, I laid right back down and slept until 7:15.  Ugh.  I promised I’d do my exercise at some point during the day.  Guilt came crashing down on me for most of the morning.

This is the one I got today.

I am proud to say that I just finished my exercise!  I picked up one of Leslie Sansone’s Walk At Home DVD’s today and I had some downtime here at the office.  I popped it in and knocked out a mile.  I feel so good right now!

Sure, it’s only day 3 on my newest plan but this is two days longer than I have made it before!  I plan on doing my yoga tonight after I get the kids down for the night so I can relax.  Plus I need the help with some aching muscles.  Between Turbo Jam, the walking DVD, and my daily activities, I hope to be pretty fit once the nice weather hits so we can head outdoors.

As a side note, I love the Walk at Home DVD.  There are no complicated moves.  You just have to keep walking.  I plan on doing a real review after using for a couple of weeks.

Oh, and today I bought a special pair of yoga style pants that will be my workout clothes.  I feel that if I have something special to wear, I will be able to get into it more.  Plus they are more comfy than my oversized sweats or Daniel’s old boxers that I have been wearing.  The best part is they were only $5.  And I picked up two super supportive sports bras yesterday at Target for $3 a piece on clearance.  I had read a great review on them so I decided to snatch them up.

I will do this!

P.S.  Did I mention I haven’t had fast food in a week!  And I’ve cut my soda consumption by 2/3!

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Categories: Working Out

“Topless Prophet” by Alan Markovitz – Book Review

January 26, 2010 Leave a comment

Topless Prophet by Alan Markovitz

The main reason any business stays in business, or thrives, is demand.  Undoubtedly, the demand for the close proximity of nearly naked beautiful women, along with premium cuisine and libations, is there…and is not going away until testosterone is outlawed.  The next ingredient for runaway success is so simple that many topless club operators miss it entirely.  That ingredient is quality.  The more beautiful ladies you have, the more customers you will get.  But without sumptuous and stunning surroundings, the ladies won’t come, and neither will the big spenders.  Every single element from building design and appointment, from the signage to the kitchen to the bar to the lighting to the servers, and managers and valet parkers-everything has to be top notch.  Or, to put it in customer service parlance-everything about your club must exceed expectations.

From Topless Prophet by Alan Markovitz

Hardcover: 307 Pages

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to run a topless club?  Or to take over the topless club industry?  “Topless Prophet” by Alan Markovitz gives an inside look at what it takes to go from the bottom rung all the way up to the ivory tower of running a successful empire.  There are drugs, violence, sex, and drinking.  From biker gangs to mafia hitmen, Alan Markovitz gives all the gritty details.

Written along with Thomas Stevens, Markovitz gives a no-holds barred look at the glitz, the glamour, and the ugly side of running the business.  After being shot twice, having a murder contract put on his head, and getting into some bad deals, Markovitz comes out triumphant as the leading man in the topless industry.

I wanted to like this book.  I really did.  I am all about the true-crime, grittiness of business.  While some of his stories are gripping and some extremely funny, the book overall fell flat with me.  I finished the book and admittedly it picked up about halfway through but I still was left feeling unsatisfied.

I am not sure if Markovitz wrote the majority of the book or if  Stevens did but at times you can tell that there were two different writers.  Though all written from Markovitz’s point of view, the style changed at times which made it a bit hard to read.

Alan Markovitz is a very successful man.  He has accomplished quite a bit in the business world and in the topless industry.  However, in his writing, that accomplishment comes across as arrogance.  Though to be fair, he has quite a bit to be arrogant about.

I recommend this book to anyone wanting to learn more about the perseverance needed to make it in the business world.  This book is entertaining with all the behind-the-scenes stories and the lessons about good business practice.

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Categories: Book Reviews